March 24, 2025

Mark 11: 25 “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (NIV)

Forgiveness is proactive, not reactive.*

It has never been in my nature to hold a grudge. It’s not that I’m such a forgiving type; it just seems to me that any kind of bad attitude requires constant maintenance to keep it alive and I tend to forget the incident before forgiveness is even an issue.

Except for that one person.

Forgiving and forgetting is a process. I can’t say, “I’ve forgiven him,” and go on my merry way. It is not a one-time act. Time and distance may have done their part to minimize the hurt and anger but they haven’t cured it. It is alarming to realize that my inability to fully forgive someone else might interfere with God’s willingness to forgive me. Can you relate to this at all? What can we do?

Jump into the forgiveness circle. Anywhere you land in the circle, forgiveness is available: between God and you; between you and your enemy. God doesn’t say, “Come back and see me when you’ve got it figured out.” In this verse, Jesus makes it sound simple: if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him. He doesn’t mention here that there is any limit to the number of times you might need to do this, but here is a hint: How many times does the Father have to forgive you? He forgives us over and over – and we may very well have to do the same with our enemies. Jesus showed us what it looks like and his Holy Spirit will help us to be forgivers.

Prayer is the key to the process. I’ve learned some things that might help your prayers be more effective: 1) pray for the person every time you think of him or her; 2) pray that God will open your eyes to your own bad behavior – such as purposely holding on to the grudge; 3) forgive the person today – and again tomorrow and again 35 years from now (yep, that’s how long I’ve been working on it!); 4) healing doesn’t come about instantly and forgiveness isn’t a feeling; 5) shut up – you don’t have to keep bringing it up to others; 6) accept God’s forgiveness today and tomorrow and ever how long it takes – don’t put a limit on his ability to forgive; 7) never cease to thank him for the victories.

You will never forgive anyone more than God has already forgiven you.*