December 23, 2023

II Corinthians 7: 9 . . . yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. (NIV)

We do not want people to feel bad – but sin should make one feel bad.*

I had a friend who, though once a faithful follower of Christ, had let the world come between him and the Lord. When he was facing heart surgery, his wife asked me to pray for him. I said, “I will. But he might not be happy about what I’m praying for.” I have a family member who has gone from preaching the word to denying that God exists. He, too, would not be happy if he knew the nature of my prayers for him (if he believed in prayer, that is). In both cases, my concern is for their souls, not for their health or happiness.

Apparently, Paul’s previous letter to the Corinthians had caused some hurt feelings. You might say that Paul was sorry/not sorry about it. He felt bad for making them feel bad but their sorrow led them to repentance and so he was also happy. He could have let his feelings for their feelings prevent him from saying what needed to be said but Paul knew that matters of eternal consequence always trump emotional concerns.

We must be careful to follow the Spirit’s leading when we deal with people’s sensitive issues. There is often a fine line between saying what needs to be said and going too far. On our own, we tend to go to one extreme or the other – tiptoeing around the person’s tender feelings or blasting them with the brutal truth. Perhaps the Holy Spirit will even lead you to one of these extremes – but don’t go there alone.

Witnessing, confronting, reconciling – tricky business with friends and family. Enter into it prayerfully so that you, like Paul, can see repentance as a result – and be sorry/not sorry for the outcome.

Truth is truth, whether or not it is well received. If we speak the truth in love to those who need to hear it, we can leave the details – and the response of the hearer – in God’s hands.*