December 1, 2023

Ephesians 5: 25, 28 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her . . .  husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (NIV)

A husband’s role is not to dictate and dominate but to devote himself sacrificially to his wife’s welfare.*

First Corinthians chapter 13 is known as the “Love Chapter.” It is quoted at most weddings – and it contains some very good information for newlyweds. But for the biblical take on romance, give me this passage in Ephesians any time. Every time.

Love may be patient and kind, but we’re a little wary of allowing someone else to tell us what patience and kindness look like. But when we’re told that a husband must love his wife just as Christ loves the church, there is no doubt that self-sacrifice is involved in living up to that standard. So, while to the newly and giddily in love, romance may be about flowers and sweet nothings, to the seasoned lover, true love is so much more – and less.

I was in a weekly Bible study group that met on the hostess’s screen porch. One night, the weather turned a little chilly for us Floridians. As I was sitting there trying to keep warm, I became aware of a little disturbance from the couple sitting next to me. When I turned to check it out, I discovered that the husband, without fanfare, had removed his socks and gave them to his sandal-wearing wife. What could be more romantic than that?

Romance is not love. Without self-sacrifice, romance is an empty gesture. Self-sacrificial love leaves romance in the dust. Husbands: do you want to be known as the world’s greatest lover? Love your wife as Christ loves the church. It will cost you but it will pay you, too: he who loves his wife loves himself. Win-win.

Love doesn’t look at the cost. It sees only what it can do for the one it loves.*