June 7, 2023

Genesis 13: 8-13 So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me . . . If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right.". . . So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan . . . The two men parted company: Abram lived in . . . Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain . . . (NIV)

We can judge the fruit of a man, but we can rarely judge [his] motives with accuracy.*

At my house, when the kids were still home, we very rarely “set the table” for a meal; we usually just filled our plates at the stove before we headed to the table. My husband used to urge me to go first, thinking that my insistence on serving myself last was an attempt to be self-sacrificing. I finally got him to understand that my motives were purely self-serving: if I went first, my food would be cold by the time everyone else finished filling their plates, made their way to the table, and said the prayer. By going last, my chances of having a hot meal were much improved.

In this story, Abram and Lot were parting ways because their entourages were becoming too unwieldy to continue to dwell together. Abram defers to Lot, allowing him to choose first whether to go to the right or the left. I (and you, too, probably) have always assumed that Abram had to settle for the less desirable land because Lot selfishly chose the Jordan River plain that was “well-watered, like the garden of the Lord.” It would appear to be true – except that it was recently brought to my attention that Abram didn’t complain, and Scripture doesn’t condemn – or even comment on – the men’s choices. Our low opinion of Lot’s character may be reinforced by the whole Sodom and Gomorrah incident, but Abram’s future choices weren’t always the wisest, either.

We don’t even know which direction Abram would have taken if he had been given the first choice. For all we know, he got exactly what he wanted. This should serve as a reminder that we must not be so quick to judge the motives of others. If we don’t have all the data - if we don’t live inside the other person’s head - the only judgment we are qualified to make is between what is sinful and what is not.  We can’t even make judgments regarding the wisdom of another’s choices based merely on the outcome because even when we choose wisely, bad things often still happen.

Sometimes, we just need to mind our own business. We should ask God to help us determine when our opinion matters.

None knows the weight of another’s burden.*